Male grooming oversights women can't forgive

Some girls go for metrosexual types, some women prefer rough and rugged traits in their ideal male; either way there are a few stinky, scruffy no-go zones few modern ladies can tolerate.

None of it's rocket science, but if you're aiming to make progress in the art of love then consider these revelations as essential reading.

Here we reveal the dirty truth about the 10 most serious infractions sure to put a woman off your otherwise tempting offer.

It sounds obvious. It IS obvious. And yet there are plenty of perpetrators out there. If ever a single hair escapes from your nostril and snakes its way into the big, wide world, then get a trimmer immediately.

Consider that first hair an early warning detection system; there will be others seeking to follow in his path.

  
Eventually you might elevate trimming to become part of the daily routine, especially if your hair is dark and nose hair particularly vigorous.

There's just no excuse. No matter how handsome you are, remember that eyesight cannot fully overcome the woman's astute sense of smell.

Brush often, especially if you drink coffee or smoke; floss daily or use a toothpick or disposable plastic flosser to dislodge your dinner; treat mouthwash as an essential not a luxury; and if you have a cold, brush your tongue too so phlegm doesn't fester in the back of the throat.

Flakes are not your fault, it's true - but we still can't help noticing them. 

Here's what you can do to help: use special shampoo and brush your dry hair once a day. Yes, it sounds silly - but it lets you free those flakes from your scalp before they jump to your shoulders of their own accord.

Better to scatter them in your bathroom than all over yourself when you're out and about. And if snow continues to fall, at least do yourself the favour of wearing light-coloured shirts so we can't tell.

When you run out, there are several reasons it's really not advisable to nick our shampoo/shower gel/hair goop/razor. First of all, you will smell like a lady. Second of all, imagine the awkwardness when your thieving ways are discovered. Third, it's just never a good idea to stand between a woman and her beauty regime.

If you should happen to - ahem - sense the presence of some foul air after using the smallest room in the house, then you'd better strike a match or risk our wrath.

It's just not polite to stink up our toilet; it's not really polite to stink up yours either if we happen to be around. While toxic smelliness can no doubt be amusing in all-male company, remember it's disgusting as long as you're in ours.

You can get away with a certain amount of mess in a bachelor flat. For plenty of girls it's gratifying to land in a lad's pad and realise it's in need of a woman's touch. An empty pizza box here or unopened post there only reinforces the fact that you could use some love and attention.

But don't expect any member of the female species to stay over if your shower is growing science experiments. If you never learned to scrub, then invest in Method Tub N Tile spray (www.methodproducts.co.uk), and stick fabric shower curtains in the washing machine at the first sign of mildew or mould.

Boys, your mother changed your linen once a week for a reason; leave it any longer and a permanent fug settles over the bedchamber. This is not a recipe for romance.

 
So wash your sheets, invest in fabric softener, air the pillows and duvet outside when you can, and if you don't have a full set of bed linens, ask Mum to send some (she'll jump at the chance). The higher the thread count the better the quality, and don't even dream of getting anything with synthetic fibres - this is just an invitation for your stink to settle.

It could be easy to spend so much attention on your outer appearance that you neglect what lies beneath. Don't make this mistake. When it comes to pants, remember that cleanliness is next to sex godliness. Never mind about the brand - get rid of anything that's dingy, baggy, scruffy or just plain bad.

Old-man toenails

There is no quicker way to sink a woman's heart than to reveal disgusting toenails. A girl doesn't have to have a foot fetish to attach a lot of importance to these little things.

It's like unwrapping a gorgeous present and peeling back layers of lovely wrapping - only to discover decay and disease underneath.

You absolutely must keep toe talons in trim, straight across to avoid ingrown nails that lead to infection. And if you notice yellow or green discolouration, get to a GP in case you've contracted a fungus.

If you are a classical guitar player, then ignore this rule. If you aren't a classical guitar player, keep your nails in check please.

When found on an object of our affection, long nails make us think of womanhood in general and witches in particular.

Chances are, this is not the look you're cultivating. If your cuticles are getting particularly crazy, get a man manicure. Successful men the world over do so, and there's no reason you can't too.